Burden of Leadership
by Lynx Traveller
Summary: Being a leader is sometimes hard. Please R&R, I think you'll be surprised with this one.


Disclaimer: I don't own Beast wars

Well, again I'm trying something new with this one.

Originally it was meant to be longer, but I went off it for a while and then got writers block. When I went to finish it off last night I couldn't think of any more to add so I just wrapped it up.

Anyway, don't be too quick to answer who you think it is, give it some thought.

………

I sat down heavily, resting my weary head in my hands.

I tell you this now my friend, so that you can get a better understanding into who I 'really' am.

The only problem is where should I start? There is never a beginning, and therefore there can never be an end; even after my armour has been reduced to sub-atomic particles and my spark returned to the creator, my legacy will continue.

So then, I guess I start in the middle, and work either way from there.

No one ever considers the leaders as people; I guess that is the biggest problem we face.

We are seen as pillars of support; it's up to us to stare into the questioning faces of our troops and make the decisions which affect more than just ourselves.

But underneath that constant strain and mask of control there is a living spark. In truth I am no different than you.

There are times when I'm afraid; afraid for my troops, afraid for myself, but we're not allowed to show it. Some unspoken rule dictates that leaders must never show any hint of personal feelings, only what's good for our followers, no matter what we feel.

I speak of leadership as if it were a curse.

I guess in a way that it is; we are bound until the time we die or are relieved of leadership to remain objective at all times, but if it were so bad I suppose I could just hand over the control to someone else.

But then we the leaders will have to be lead. Whilst not in itself a bad thing, it will be our fault when the new leader gives an order that his optics betray hurts him to do so.

Thus, we bear the burden of leadership on our own shoulders so that others don't have to carry it.

But to lead, all leaders need followers, which is in itself a minefield of decisions, constantly under the threat of a bad judgement call.

It's so hard to consider the individual, whilst being mindful of the larger picture, and as a result there will always be troops with whom frictions will occur.

I'll admit that I've had many a fight with Dinobot, not just over the command, but on any topic we come across.

Yet he still agrees to be lead. 

That's all we can ever really hope for; all our followers have opinions of us, yet despite how hard it may be, knowing that they stick by us is all we can really ask for.

Hmm, see how hard being a leader is? I haven't even scratched the surface of who I am yet.

They say that all bots are born equal. I'm not entirely sure if I agree with this.

In the literal sense, there is rarely ever equality, every little quirk life throws at us affects us in some way, but I suppose metaphorically we are the same; we all have a spark and a body, we all have hurdles we must overcome, and influences we must learn from.

Originally I started life as a middle-class bot. I saw everything through untainted optics; I believed everyone was good, everything was proper.

Normally I'd say I was a fool, but I must admit I learned from that; for good or worse, everything that came after can be measured up against those innocent years, and like it or not, life's turns can be judged by that.

But of course, I wasn't entirely wrong, everything is objective.

For instance, define the term 'good'. Is it doing what is right for yourself at the expense of others, or suffering so that others don't have to go through what you do.

So in a way, all bots are 'good', if they follow their spark and do what they feel is right, then they can't go wrong.

Of course, good is also what others perceive of you.

I guess you really can't please all the people all the time.

And now I see my troops; they sit patiently enjoying the few moments' peace between missions. They all cast a glance at me occasionally, awaiting the inevitable order, the order that could spell life or death for any one of them.

The order that I put off until the latest minute.

I've often wondered what the future holds; no matter who wins things will change drastically; if the Maximals win the Predacons last chance for salvation will be lost, and if the Preds win then the Maximals very existence will be in question.

I guess that we'll all have to live with the changes, whether they are favourable to us or not.

And now my second glances up at me, the unfinished device in his hand. He knows me almost as well as I do myself; he knows that I'm simply stalling, that the next order I'll make won't get any easier if I keep putting it off.

I nod imperceptibly, yet I can see in his optics mixed feelings; he knows that it's the end, yet he knows that it's been coming for a long time now. Whatever the outcome, we'll have to live with it.

And now I ask you dear friend, do you know who I am? Do you really know who you yourselves are?

I guess only time will tell.

………

Well, what did you think? I know it was short but it was hard to break the characters down into their similarities.

So, who did you think it was? Leave a review and tell me. 


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